Healthy Lasagna

Healthy Veggie Lasagna

Healthy Veggie Lasagna
Sautéed Veggies -
2 cups eggplant diced
1 ½ red sweet onion diced
2 garlic cloves
2 cups sliced mushrooms (I used bella)
1 small zucchini thinly sliced
¾  of a 1 pound bag of spinach
2 tablespoons cooking oil
Directions:
Get large wok and put oil in on medium high heat.  Put in onions and garlic together and let sit for about 3min.  Stir and put in eggplant, zucchini, mushroom.  Cook until  zucchini is kind of transparent.  Stir in spinach until spinach is soggy and cooked.  Let sit.
Sauce-
3 roma tomatoes diced
2 tablespoons parsley
1 teaspoon fresh oregano
1 tablespoon oil
The rest of the spinach bag
Directions:  Put all into a sauce pan and stir occasionally stir until mixture is thicker.
Cheese mixture:
3 cups lowfat cottage cheese
2 eggs
2 cups shredded mozzarella
2 tablespoons shredded fresh parmesan
Direction:  Mix.
Cook 9 noodles as package directs. Preheat oven at 350*
When everything is cooked, place 3 noodles in a 9x13 bake dish covering the bottom.
Put a small layer of the sauce, cheese mix, and veggies over the noodles.  Put 3 noodles on top of the mixture and repeat putting small layers of each mixtures on top.  Put a final 3 noodles on top and cover with the remaining mixtures.  Bake for 35 min.
Awesome served with a bit of red pepper on top.  And of course some red wine!
Just to think, I had no idea how to cook just a few years ago!

Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions
April 26, 2013
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvzsjcBtx8
This isn’t going to be a rant about how stressed I am currently.  Anger does nothing good for the soul and let’s other’s control your emotions.  No other person should ever have that right.
All through my life I have always tried being a mother to others and have failed.  It has upset me until now because I couldn’t understand why I was failing.  I tried being a mother to my sister, to my friends, to boyfriends, and it really didn’t work.  I want to help people while they are in their worst.  I kept failing because I am not meant to be their mother.   They have mothers.   I realize they too need to go through difficult times their own way, and even when they feel they need somebody to sort out their stuff, they really need themselves.  They need a steady amount of self worth and positivity to get through.  I haven’t gotten as far as I have without help, but I know how to think for myself and am learning to take care of myself.
 I may have sucked at being everybody else’s mom, but I know that I am constantly there for my own son.  I have turned being into a terrible mom for other’s into being a caring and compassionate mother in real life.   I know that we will have problems in the future, but I know that he will love me because I show him love every day.
Somehow throughout the way my thought process became a negative force field.  I’m not sure what happened but my thoughts go through this haziness that takes part of the truth out and creates and new thought.  I don’t know how to describe it any better because it is just as messed up as it sounds.   It’s like there has to be some bad meaning behind everything. 
Physically, I am afraid to cry.  I really feel like I will crumble and there will be nothing left.  A few weeks ago I was telling my health coach about some harder times in my life and he seemed weirded out  that I couldn’t cry.  Tears might be in my eyes, but I don’t cry in front of people.  We discovered that I have problems grieving.  I was dealing with some family moving away and I was upset, but there was no way that I could express it because I was unable to grieve.
We also discussed that the three most important things to focus on in life are:
Exercise- it makes you feel better and makes you healthier (Duh)
Laughing- taking pleasure in all of the little things.  Every time my son does or says something crazy and funny, embrace it.
And Intimacy- there are a ton of different types of intimacy, but it’s all worth focusing on.
I have many things to work on and to improve myself, but understanding where I am going wrong is a key element.  Emotional health is just one way that I need to improve.
“They think of themselves as lazy and lucky.  If they did anything at all, it was so simple that anyone lese could do the same- for all that they have done is to recognize a universal fact of life, something as true of the wear and foolish of the wise and strong.  They would even say that in the respect there is some advantage in being weak and foolish, for the possession of a strong will and a clever head makes some things very difficult to see.”
                                                                                From Become What You Are by Alan Watts, pg. 5

Guilt

Guilt
April 2, 2013
I have an awfully hard time letting go of things.  Especially things that I think I could have done better.  Overcoming guilt is not my forte.  I let others and myself bring me down.  I have started to really get a gauge on why I let guilt rule me.  When I start feeling guilty I need to look at what the true source is, and then I can realize the outer causes of my mind-set.
People will always bring you down.  It is their job and you are meant to stay on your toes.  It’s like a game people play.  Not everyone, just the negative people in your life. Sometimes I just need to figure out if those people are necessary staples or can be ripped out.
Negative people will find anyone to blame.  I have gone through this my whole life, and I would be surprised to find a person who hasn’t.  It can be major issues the person has with me, or things that have nothing to do with them.
My marriage, eating habits, religion, job choice, what I do and don’t do, what I have done, political views, how I raise my child and how I spend my money tend to be exterior people’s business.  I have realized that I don’t have to explain myself.  I am me.  If I chose to marry the person I love, the right people will be there for us.  If my friends are going through a divorce, that doesn’t mean their actions hinder mine. If I am a vegetarian with other limitations on my diet, the right people will make sure I have something to eat.  My child is polite without having to spank him.  The right people have forgiven me for my teen angst issues from my past life, and it seems as though the people I hurt the most I am the closest to. I am content with my life without having others guilt me into acting the way they want me to.  I also have not wronged anybody by taking care of myself.
Sometimes I am the negativity.  Negativity is something I must learn to overcome.  I fill myself with guilt over things I have done but people have long ago forgiven me for.  I also have one of those racing minds which pretend to foresee what is coming, when in reality it will not be that bad.  People will not always look down on me for making my choices, but I might.
Looking deep down into my subconscious is the only way to fully understand why my guilt is there.  Poking at the noise in my head to see if it is myself or others, and to see if there is a real reason for my uneasiness.  I’m learning, but it takes time.

“I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. The police search the train station for a serial rapist and I cover my face with a newspaper, wondering if maybe I did it in my sleep. The last thing I stole was an eight-track tape, but to this day I’m unable to enter a store without feeling like a shoplifter. It’s all the anxiety with none of the free stuff.”
DAVID SEDARIS, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim